Sometimes in the middle of the night when everyone’s asleep you just feel like crying, for no reason! Its just that you are confused about something that’s bothering you and while everyone sleeps you feel you have no one to take you out of that situation and you talk (rather cry) yourself to sleep. Well on the contrary there are times when, after everyone is asleep you feel liberated. As if the world is yours and now you begin to hear what your heart was telling you since morning.
Almost every one of us repeats this dialogue whenever depressed- We were born alone and we die alone! Have we ever bothered to wonder why god took such a decision? Not every one of us is as brave as the other. Some are too afraid even with a pinch of darkness, animals, height, water, strangers and what not? Then how can we come alone?
Well, no matter how much we try to burden others with ‘our responsibility’, we by default are given the power to heal ourselves. Nothing works better than talking to yourself, listening to yourself, spending time with yourself. Is this sounding strange? Let me illustrate. In school times whenever we used to take tuition and assume we have understood, we however didn’t, until we used to spend time again on teaching our own self what the tutor taught us. After a breakup when you are sympathized by your friend who tries to calm you, you feel halfheartedly happy. You only feel fully relieved when you cry to yourself and make yourself believe what your friend told you. Many a times you might have ignored a pimple on your cheek for days and then you saw it getting healed all by itself. You might as well believe you are weak but as soon as someone hurts your ego, you are on your feet and brave enough. Why? Because you yourself can make or break you. You already have two selves within you. One who functions externally and the one who functions internally.
Howsoever might your parents, lover, grandparents, friends tell you- “Hey, I know you better than you know yourself” Well it’s a Bollywood lie that’s it. Nobody knows you better than yourself. You know things but you are not brave enough to listen to yourself and rather you give the torch to your parent, friend or lover to light it for you. And then you are all spilled on them-“Oh it is because of you that I am saved, oh thank god you were there”; rather than giving yourself the credit!
This calls for another question. Why are people so depressed? Because they are confused, they have problems and seek answers from people who in turn confuse them with “their own” point of view. So it means that you try to solve “your” problem with “their solution”. And you only end up in victory when their solution was same as what you had thought but never admitted. Otherwise you miserably fail.
Why is it that we hate ourselves and love all others? We don’t trust our self. The reality however is that we find maximum peace with our own self. We might stand in a crowd and feel alone and sit alone and feel content. There might be times when you meet a person who is confident, happy, mutli-talented and charming. And then when you compare him/her to yourself you feel like a complete zero. Is he/she more blessed then you are? or more talented? Or lucky? Of course not. It’s because these are the most intelligent people. Why? Because they don’t lie to themselves. These people have a wholesomeness in their being. Their external and internal being has a close proximity if not unity. They listen to “themselves”, confidence is their highest power which upholds their sense of self more than someone else’s. You try hard to make them look down upon themselves and within that quagmire too, they stand bold. They just know themselves. That’s all that matters. Not the world because they are too Unstable to be stable! Their notions are never written down and inked, they are always in the air governed by the heat and the cold of the ambiance. They don’t waste their sense of self for such a feeble notion as “what others might think of me”. They are just true to themselves and that is the very sea that springs them up with confidence.
So…..just listen, it speaks. Your soul, inner voice, gut, conscience, god, or whatsoever your belief lies in..Just listen, it speaks, let him speak and shut up the others. You would wake up to your new self and would relish that voice more than anyone else’s. Because it’s none else than you. The great poet Kahlil Gibran has realized it too when he said:
“ No man can reveal to you aught but that which already lies half asleep in the dawning of your knowledge”