A rainy day- dog on my lap and a book

It’s raining, and I am sitting in my front yard with lots of plants. There is a smell of burning wood in the air. The smell I always associate with mountains and hills. The smell makes me nostalgic about travel. Thus, turning my attention to it. 

It’s a normal working day. Working from home gives me the liberty to work according to my own schedule.

I am a market researcher so analysis and reporting and understanding human beings is what I actually do for a living.

Yes, I like my job, it does wake me up in the morning. Some days are stressful, and some are not. I guess its true for you all.

But, it still isn’t what I want to do.

I miss the outdoors. I want to be out there, amongst the trees and the leaves, the unknown cities and the unknown treasures. The narrow road with an end to civilization, people nobody has heard of, places people have long forgotten, lanes still virgin from tourist traps.

I am sitting, I should rather move. 

Right now I am free, with nothing to do in terms of work. But I still don’t know how to find the opportunity that my soul craves. I feel restless and unsatisfied. When the weekend comes I crave working days while during workdays I want to throw back my legs and lie down and wish for weekends.

I have it all, yet I feel I have none.

I have stopped telling people about it. About my dreams, my cravings. They make fun, and they feel it’s not practical. But do I care?

Well, sometimes I do. I feel it’s a fantasy I have grown accustomed to while reading and watching movies, the two things I do so feverishly. 

At other times I feel motivated to work towards the goal in my free time. 

But now I am free, straining my mind to involve myself in exploring what I want.

But what are my next steps? Should I resume my office work? Should I continue reading Paulo Coehlo? Or should I read the e-book about past civilizations that I had been reading?